I am sure there
is something seriously wrong with Indian men. A few minutes back, I have just
returned from a reputed bank and really wish to share the incident. I went
there along with my father and was wearing a knee- length dress. It was a usual
one piece dress which was not at all revealing or indecent in any manner. However,
as I entered, the bank guard stared at my bare legs in such a dirty way that I
had to resist myself from slapping him tight. He then tried giving me a smile
and while I was interacting with a bank official, I saw him hovering around,
staring at my legs, enjoying the ogling act with an equally obnoxious colleague.
As we proceeded towards the exit door, he again tried giving me a smile. I
wonder if wearing a dress is such a crime that a girl is perceived as
a piece of meat and has to bear all those lecherous gazes that are indeed an assault
on dignity. There is something very wrong with most of the Indian males. I know
so many men from well respected and educated families who have absolutely no
manners to behave with women and no inhibitions before raising their voice and
even hands on them. It shames me that our society is really rotten in this
regard.
It also makes me
feel extremely ashamed that two of my male cousins fall into this category. I have snapped ties with both of them as the last
resort. Nothing deters them from indulging in violence and verbal abuse but the
most disturbing thing is that their mothers consider it to be very normal. Both
are engineers and have educated and working parents but lack even a trace of
sophistication. I often wonder why the hell they are related to me. This is
such a punishment.
However, I think
there is no character development as far as male progenies are concerned for
parents devote their entire energy and ‘sanskaars’ towards girls,
training them in coyness and to stay subdued and quiet, and to coil within like
a snail when any male shows interest or behaves indecently. It would have been
much better if most Indian parents had taught their sons to respect women.
Indian male
mentality sucks and I feel ashamed of my culture that treats women like an object of fun and a piece of meat.
PS: To hell with
such pigs- I’ll buy a dress today.
hmm this is what we do wrong mam.. we resist to slap. had such men been slapped years ago, they would have stopped doing what they do...
ReplyDeleteeducation and reputation does not mean Manners..
I dont know wht else to say, all i can say is I am sorry we the indian men are like that ..
Bikram's
Hi Bikram
Deleteyes but you can't slap all the time for there are so many pests :P
exactly, I agree. my two cousins are educated but lack even the most basic manners.
yeah..sigh..
Indian men are pervert and people maintain double standards.. I suggest you either don't wear short dresses in such conservative places like bank or govt offices or keep I am not bothered attitude and keep pepper spray with you if somebody approaches..
ReplyDeleteHi Megha
Deleteyes, i agree with this fact completely. yes, i would buy a pepper spray now, what else can a girl do in such an obnoxious society :(
I am sorry to hear this. :( People really need to have some manners! Hope you can find a great dress. You are definitely a strong woman!
ReplyDeleteHi Katrin
Deletethanks dear :)
Interesting post. Most of the Indian men are. But not all. Therefore, please do not paint all with the same brush.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered why many Indian men behave such a way only with the Indian women. For example, in Chennai beach there will be foreign women in a two piece swimming suit. No one would look at them. But if an Indian woman, who was standing at the edge of the water raises her saree a little bit when the water comes in, many guys would be starring at her legs.
Hi SG
Deletemost of them are so I am referring to Indian men in general.
that is so funny and strange
:P
There's a very rural, a very misogynist thought process going on in most Indian men's heads, no matter how educated they are. Sometimes, it's not even about what you're wearing - anything that they can get a peek out of is enough for them to keep ogling and grinning (and drooling and let's not think what else!) It's not all men, to be fair; but the ones who do it are enough to make you wanna live elsewhere!
ReplyDeleteHi Sreesha
DeleteThais is also very true, they are basically perverts and even an inch of skin can make them go mad with lust.
sadly yes
It is not just Indian men but all over.
ReplyDeleteWhen I entered University in 2011, senior boys expected me to add them, innocently as questions about the Uni and develop relations with them which I refused to do (being in first co education experience ever) and since I did not mingle with the senior boys I had to deal with rumors and all the hatred and being labelled "baji type" and "scary" and what not and even my group broke, I was disowned by my friend because I did not approve of her relationship with a senior and because they wanted to see boys while I wanted to be in library... Desperate girls? Hungry boys!
And so happen now. Public travelling is nothing but pain because of getting x ray eyes, I was wearing sun glasses and on my way home when a thousand tims I have seen bike riders blowing kisses and some patting the seat empty beside them (inviting??) ALL ages MEN. Imagine!
I hate this, our society is sick.
Women are nothing but object to men. I like your straight forward post and well my cousin is in airline, has a fine job and he is the same way so I refuse to meet their family. I hate dirty eyes and I can't tolerate.
And about abusing women slapping them hitting them and using bad language, I have had the worst childhood in this regard :) Bad memories! SIGH
Thing is when children grow in such environment boys tend to follow the foot steps of their dad because it is fed in their subconscious to do so and for girls.. they become either too bold or too sensitive or mentally unstable always fearsome and insecure,...
Sighs
Hi Ph_
Deleteyes, the entire Asia (almost) suffers from this issue. I agree. Such despo girls create problems for others as well. One of my roommates was extremely desperate and had such a reputation that I had to shift my room.
this is really so annoying. such jobless and aimless boys should be handled by police.
My cousins are just too rude and insolent but this is really sad. Such dirty gazes are so filthy.
yes, I agree. Such people will give nothing positive to the coming generations.
A, the Indian Society is still in its resent stages of revolution. We are not very civil as compared to the west. Add to this is the all pervasive patriarchal hegemony that at once deifies and objectifies women.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your experience.
Hi Rajesh
Deletethe question is why we are not even now? We ape west in everything be it clothing, food and other trends but when it comes to manners and equality, we return into our primitive cocoons...such a shame
Well written article! I guess most gals now a days are feeling and experiencing the same day by day. And reason you have written in your post itself. There is no character development as far as male progenies are concerned. All so called sanskars are for gals here!!
ReplyDeleteHi V
DeleteThank you! there is really no training and character development as far as boys are concerned, only girls are taught to be sanskaari and to forget and forgive every shit.
Indian men grow up watching how their fathers treat their mothers. It continues. I have noticed now that men who reside abroad for a few years, have got a different behaviour towards their women. They help their wives in cooking, taking care of babies...but men who are here, are still the same. I have also noticed that some groups of men visit malls on week ends just to watch womens' legs! One wife told me laughingly, when I asked where her husband was, 'he will be standing somewhere watching colours (means women)'
ReplyDeleteHahaha...go and buy a dress, well two dresses!
Hi Sandhya
Deleteyes, that is why there has been almost no change since generations. here men consider it to a sign of being effeminate and as they locally call it 'joru ka gulam' types. yes, they really do visit malls and such places to stare..sick
You go get that dress babe!!!!
ReplyDeleteand u shud have complained about the security guard to the manager....Hopefully he isnt another asshole.
Hi Red
Deleteexactly! Why should i hide myself. We must fight back
The 2nd last para says it all!
ReplyDeleteHi Loco
Deletethank you!
Well written. Some men indeed have this mentality.
ReplyDeleteHi Onkar
DeleteThank you. I think most men carry such mentality
As A society we have to grow up
ReplyDeleteHi R Miglani
Deleteyes, seriously
The problem is that this kind of behavior is normalized. People don't acknowledge that this is a problem, and for someone who grows up with never understanding that this is wrong, will not stop.
ReplyDeleteHi IR
ReplyDeletesorry for a late reply.
Exactly, people take it very casually and do not consider it as an issue.